3 Aug 2006
Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:
- The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.
- The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
- You will have trouble with the ties on your gi pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.
- The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.
- The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
- If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
- After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.
- After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
- In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
- No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.